forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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