have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is the high leading the old right now
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
