she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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