HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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