We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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