But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
