Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
