I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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