bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
