just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....