I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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