I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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