Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm both gender and math confused
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
