You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
