had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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