ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm at about main and main street
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
