Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Who died my cat blue again?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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