All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize