I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
