I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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