help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You need a sexual gate keeper
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
