I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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