Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
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You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
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If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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