the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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