I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
