i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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