dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
