she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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