is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
