1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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