I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
