how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
should my penis look like a turkey
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Randomize
