I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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