TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize