Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
