Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She bit a glass in half.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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