I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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