If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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