I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
