Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
