Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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