eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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