with your own penis?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
