Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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