dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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