Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
