Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
