I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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