i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
