Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
