You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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