You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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