SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
