batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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