why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
