Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
