Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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