hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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