Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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