i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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