After last night, I could never be a politician.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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