wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
