their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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