I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
