I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
