garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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