but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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