it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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