did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
