oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and she was petting her beer can
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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